We all get stuck.

Sometimes it’s a work problem that keeps looping in your head. Sometimes it’s a conversation that didn’t go the way you hoped. Sometimes it’s that Sunday night feeling where nothing is technically wrong, but everything feels harder than it should.

When we’re in that state, we often look for a big answer. A strategy. A decision. A dramatic shift. But often the thing we need first is much smaller than that. We need a reset.

Not because the problem doesn’t matter. Not because we should just “think positive” and move on. But because when we’re stuck, our view narrows. We start seeing the problem through fatigue, frustration, fear, disappointment or hurt. And when that happens, the story we’re telling ourselves can become louder than the situation itself.

That’s when perspective matters. Perspective doesn’t mean pretending things are fine. It means creating enough space to see what’s actually happening, what’s in your control, and what the next useful step might be.

Reappraise the Situation

One of the most useful resets is to reappraise the situation.

That doesn’t mean forcing a positive spin on something that genuinely feels difficult. It means asking, “Is there another way to understand what’s happening here?” Sometimes the situation is a setback, but it’s also showing you where something needs to change. Sometimes the conversation felt uncomfortable, but it has revealed a misalignment that was already there. Sometimes the frustration you’re feeling is not a sign that you’re failing, but a sign that you’ve reached the edge of your current approach.

That’s not always a comfortable thing to see. But discomfort is often useful information. When we can reappraise a situation, we give ourselves a chance to respond to what’s actually happening, rather than reacting to the first story our brain has created about it.

Look Back and Value Your Progress

Another reset is to take time to value your progress.

This sounds simple, but most of us don’t do it deliberately. We’re very good at noticing what’s unfinished. The gap. The mistake. The thing that still isn’t working. We’re less good at looking back and asking, “How far have I actually come?”

That matters, because when you’re stuck, your brain can convince you that nothing is moving. But when you deliberately look back, you often see evidence that the story is not quite true. You’ve made decisions. You’ve tried things. You’ve learned what doesn’t work. You’ve built capacity you didn’t have six months ago.

Progress doesn’t always feel like progress when you’re in the middle of it. Sometimes it just feels like effort. But effort still counts. Learning still counts. The small shifts still count, even when they don’t yet feel like the outcome you wanted.

Take the Problem to Someone You Trust

We often make our worst decisions in isolation. Not because we’re incapable, but because when we’re close to something, we can lose sight of proportion. We can become attached to one interpretation. We can start defending our position instead of understanding the problem.

A trusted person doesn’t need to solve it for you. Sometimes they just need to sit with you long enough to help you hear yourself more clearly. Someone removed from the situation can often see what we can’t. They can notice the pattern. They can ask the question we’ve been avoiding. They can remind us of what we already know but have temporarily forgotten.

And there is something else in this too. Connection itself is regulating. When we take a problem to a safe person, we’re not just getting advice. We’re reminding our nervous system that we’re not alone with it.

Step Away and Give Yourself Some Space

Another reset is to take a break.

This can feel irresponsible when the problem feels urgent. But there’s a difference between avoiding something and giving your brain enough room to work. Sometimes we need space and some grace. A walk. A proper night’s sleep. A quiet morning before we respond. Five minutes outside in the sun. Something ordinary enough that we almost dismiss it.

But don’t underestimate the small things. They might not make headlines, but they work. And over time, they compound.

The status quo can be the enemy here. Getting stuck and doing nothing is usually what causes the damage. But doing something doesn’t always mean pushing harder. Sometimes the most useful thing you can do is step back long enough to return with a clearer head.

Link Back to Your Values

When we feel stuck, it can help to come back to what matters.

Does this really matter in the bigger picture? Will I still be worried about this in six months? What happens if this situation doesn’t improve? What would I be protecting by solving it? What would I be avoiding by leaving it alone?

These are not throwaway questions. They help us separate noise from meaning. Some problems are worth the effort of solving. Some are asking us to have a harder conversation. Some are asking us to let go. Some are showing us that we’re spending energy in a place that no longer aligns with who we are or what matters most.

Values give us a stable reference point when emotion makes everything feel urgent. They don’t remove the difficulty, but they help us decide whether the problem is worth our attention, our energy and our courage.

Listen to What Your Emotions Are Telling You

There is one reset I think we need to talk about more, and that’s sitting with the problem long enough to understand what your emotions are telling you.

Emotions are data. They are not directives.

That distinction matters. If a situation has made you feel excluded, your first instinct might be to withdraw. You might feel yourself shrinking back. Your confidence might feel knocked. It might almost feel physically painful. And when you can articulate that, something changes. You can see that it’s not ridiculous. It’s not weakness. It’s a completely rational human reaction.

We are wired to experience exclusion as a threat. In human history, being excluded from the group could quite literally become a life and death issue. So when something happens that taps into that old wiring, of course our brain pays attention. Of course it becomes sensitive. Of course it starts scanning for more evidence.

But once we can see that, we have a choice. Not the fake choice of “don’t think about it.” We all know the pink elephant example. The moment someone tells you not to think about it, it’s the only thing you can see.

The better move is to direct attention somewhere else on purpose. Not to deny what happened. Not to pretend it didn’t hurt. But to say, “I understand why this has affected me. I can see what my brain is trying to protect me from. And now I’m going to place my attention somewhere more useful.”

That might be something small. A good conversation. A kind message. A sunny day. A cup of coffee you actually stop and enjoy. A piece of work you’re proud of. A person who makes you feel steady.

Small things are not small when they help us move.

The Work Is in the Reset

This is the part most people miss. Resetting doesn’t mean the problem disappears. It means you stop letting the problem decide the shape of your whole day.

These are the kinds of mindsets and skillsets we practise in Leading WELL. Not as theory, but as practical habits that help people pause, reappraise, reconnect, regulate and move forward.

It’s one of the reasons the outcomes have been so powerful. The Hunter Safety Awards recognised this recently when Leading WELL was awarded Best WHS Training Program. The award criteria asked for evidence-based design, measured outcomes and delivered impact.

That matters, because this work isn't about motivation for motivation’s sake. It’s about giving people practical ways to respond differently when things get hard. Because things will get hard. People will feel stuck. Teams will hit tension. Leaders will have moments where they don’t know what to do next.

The question is not whether that happens. The honest question is whether we have practised the resets that help us move through it.